Friday, November 4, 2011

What's worth trading for a $10 Hooker?

So I've always said I wouldn't blog while drinking. I mean, it's a no-no in every other facet in life. No drinking, driving & texting; no drinking and riding a bike; no drinking and stealing tigers; and the no brainer - no drinking and tipping cows. But I'm on a gazillion hour flight with Big Red, who thank God made it to first class this trip. I can see the relief on the flight attendants faces, NOT!

Anywhooo, we only made it as far as Salt Lake City without incident. Yeah well, trouble tends to follow Super Heroes and their.... well, whatever Big Red is. Some guy had the audacity to walk too close past me - when BR and I spotted in his hot little hands a Fedora that would fit perfectly on my tiny little pea-brain.

It's true, I have a pinhead. My mother who is all of 100 lbs, maybe - must have made some pact with God when I arrived into this world, because finding hats for me is as easy as finding a virgin anywhere near a Volcano. That may go over some heads, but people my age and Tom Hanks will get it.

So Big Red says hey that's a cute Fedora. To which Stingy-guy says, "It is my wife's." Well my natural reaction was, "Can I have it?" He replied, "How much?" As you can imagine, my response was that of, "Oh I usually just make-out for things as trivial as a hat." His response, "where are you sitting?" It was funny until I realized he didn't want to make out, he wanted to trade for my first class seat. At that point I knew the hat must have been cheaper than a $10 Hooker. His poor wife. He's not even sitting in first class.

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