Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Carnivorous Acts of Experimentation

I was recently volunteered by someone to go to the Best of the West Rib Cook-off to indulge in the guiltless act of slathering my face with a couple of dozen carnivore delights, each accompanied by their own palate pleasing liquid elixir.  So, because I'm a giver, and because I refuse to compromise my road to Thinville without jeopardizing everyone else's trip to same destination - I brought in recruits.

Big Red knows no boundaries.
As a non-expert in... well.... everything really, I was surprised to have been put in a position to actually give open judgment on such an important event. So, I did the best scientific experimentation of tasting that I could muster up. Big Red and I filled the table with the most judgmental people we know including BFF, BFF's Banker (aka her husband), Gucci, and two 20-something girls who I shall call "Too Young & Hot to be our friends (TY&H).

So the results are: the TY&H twins hated everything. I think if you are a size 2 and want to remain so, it is actually a requirement to be repulsed by any smell, let alone flavor. They're fired.

The only testosterone at the table, BFF's Banker, gave his thumbs up to The Texas Outlaw ribs.  I never really retrieved an opinion from BFF, because she was elbow deep into a mound of ice cream on a stick. God help us if anyone creates rib flavored frozen creamsicles.

Big Red and Gucci were of no use to me, because neither of their palates have ever discriminated against any type of vittles on a bone.  The Bone Daddy ribs put a sparkle in Big Red's eye, but I can't cleanly ponder the purpose of that.

My favorite sauces were Desperado and Back Forty
Now back to me.  I took my role in the Rib Lab very seriously.  I tasted every morsel up until it all started tasting the same. So after careful review of my notes, I noticed the Carl's Jr. like monster sauce drip next to the Back Forty entry, which can only conclude I was overcome with emotion at this very moment.  And, you may ask, who the actual winner was of this grand festival.  I shall tell you the prize was claimed by Chicago BBQ, which may be the only ribs that never crossed any of my crack pot group of taster's buds.