Friday, April 6, 2012

I share the same awful affliction of that humble British girl.

Always the sympathizer, I totally understand this poor British woman's plight and struggle with beauty. Not everyone has a full understanding for someone with such assets.

Big Red and I, long ago, came to terms with what this victim is enduring. Oh its not the bounty of beauty we are burdened with, but the haunting gift of intelligence. Yes, people have an affinity for disdain towards us due to our wicked smart nature. Much in the way Ms. Brick's beauty is hidden, well..... I think you understand my point.

It is probably difficult for most of you to see with the naked eye, and those of you with a good set of ears are probably tilting your head in wonderment as well. Try not to tweak your brain to see it - just go with it.

We can't blame you for not noticing it sooner. You see, Big Red and I have learned the art of cloaking our cerebral prowess due to our ostracism from "normal" society.

This is where Veuve plays a huge role in softening our sharp intellect and giving us the freedom to feel just like the masses, who, and I quote, "don't know how lucky they are," according to Samantha Brick.

I blame my mother. You see I was merely 21 months old when President Kennedy was assassinated and I was placed in a playpen a few feet from the Black & White with 24/7 coverage of the events on that day. So not only did I grow up thinking we were related to the Kennedys, but I already had a history lesson under my belt before exiting the diaper stage. Word is children thrive on repetition, as it assists in the learning process. Well yours truly here is living proof that a child's brain emblazoned with continual newscasts for 120 hours, not only can't forget, but feels as if she were in Dallas that very day.

Imagine how severe my curse of intelligence could have been had mother run Einstein's theory of Relativity all those days. I'd have no friends but lab rats. Wait, oh never mind. That's another blog.

Now Big Red's erudite nature came to her through basic solidarity. She was entertained mostly from her imaginary friends leaping off the pages of her fantasy novels. Being the daughter of the Vice Principal did not gain her many allies in her journey to, well, who she is today.

So please try not to judge this pitiful British gal who is fraught with the stunning looks of the likes of Kim Kardashian, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. She's not cocky, she just loves herself. Sorry Kelly Rowland, I couldn't help myself. I'm too smart to know better.