Saturday, May 25, 2013

Eight hours of Our Lives We'll Never Get Back

Rio Negro & Amazon meet but never mix.
I'm resurrecting a blog I started back when I was on a Visa in a foreign country south of the equator with Big Red.  So, please amuse me and pretend we're in the moment, as I'd like to continue with this escapade as if I were not currently in a country where springtime harkens to "enjoy the sun, if and only if it shines, because mother nature in menopause will rip those bright warm rays from you in a New York minute." 

If we weren't larger than life - you' could see view.

You may recall a time when I lamented, if you want time to stand still - hop on a treadmill.  However, after today - I can one-up that. Visit an art museum in a foreign country with the native-speaking museum director, and time will not only stop....... it will grab you by the ankles and toss you back to 4th grade crying for your momma.

We arrived at 9:20 a.m. and I swear it was 8 hours before any semblance of food was anywhere near passing these lips. There isn't eight hours worth of anything to view on this planet unless it's the video of Big Red flying out of the golf cart when I topped the speed with a sharp left turn and she clawed her way back off the ground donning fresh sod in her choppers. Now loop that video, and it will never get old. If only the Vine application were available back then.
Village Heifer in Amazon near Manaus

Beach gym in Rio (blackberry had no problem taking this pic)
I'd show you pictures of the artifacts, however, my blackberry was as bored as I, and couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to record this momentous episode in our lives.  FYI - this was in 2011, when I was still clutching to my own telecommunicative artifact with the global leader in wireless, Research in Motion.

I have, however, provided you with a few images reminiscent of our jaunt through the land of conflicting language. I know, they speak Portuguese, but depending on what longitude you are positioned, there are French and German influences in the speech. Just sayin.

As you can see we actually filled up a full frame in a photo, but we can't blame the travel on that. We arrived there in full body form. 

 I only posted these hideous photos of us, because I knew it would make Big Red's skin crawl. And.. well... that's fun for me. After all, she's lost a ton of weight.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

It's how Super Heroes shower.

Big Red, Super Hero Jr., and Yours Truly prepping for the race
Our crackpot gaggle of girls has been asked to participate in an upcoming 5K Foam Fest! Yes an obstacle race with fun blow up toys to bounce, slide and tumble on.  If you want us to run, you must entertain us every 20 seconds with a surprise, such as a Champagne break, or a water feature. We love distractions.  The event organizers praise the race as the only obstacle mud run that doubles as a human car wash.  Apparently there is copious amounts of foam thrown at the runners, because the event crew has an anal retentive need for cleanliness at a "MUD" run. Whatever!

This is not our first attempt as such an event. As a matter of fact I recently received praised by a workout guru for my dedication to fitness. Mr. Fit had noticed, via the internet diary we call Facebook,  that I actually ran in a Mudder Race last summer.  I didn't have the heart to tell him it was the Run Amuck, which although sounds a bit like a tough mudder - but was really more like a stroll through a carnival with a candied apple in your mouth.  FYI, here is the warning from the race organizers: 2 Tips we encourage you to follow: (1) Don’t drink before the race. Alcohol + masses of people + mystery obstacles = molotov cocktail. In other words, bad news. (2) Absolutely, postively no diving into the mud pit. Period.

Our Event Sponsor Bosley

So anyway, my team took this race very seriously as we prepared that morning for this annual event. We even secured a sponsor for the day - who supplied us with all our necessities for this arduous affair. It was a very hot day which required much hydration. Two hours prior to shotgun, we made sure we downed at least three beers and one Mojito. Whaaaat? We had two hours to twiddle our thumbs. We were bored.

The Aftermath.  Alive and well!

 The way I see it, anyone can run a race sober. Where's the challenge there. But I have to say, there is nothing like a 3.1 mile run with obstacles to sober you right up after you end the race flying face down on the giant blow-up water slide. You know where we placed? Yeah I don't either.