It's rubber but not the USC namesake kind.

Sometimes I have no words. You tell me, when I post a picture like this - will you actually retain anything in written communication?

Just when you were wondering if the Universe still has a sense of humor, a big large, shiny, wrapped rubber package lands right at your watering hole to remind you - Yes a sense of humor is abundant in our cosmos. And he could have possibly been a figment of my Cosmotini-induced fog, however, he was smiling right back at Big Red and me.

So when I decided a couple of weeks ago that I may be ready for the dating game again, this is what the Universe sets right smack dab in front of me. As a Super Hero in training, Ive learned many things - and as it turns out, Rubber Man is my Kryptonite.

Who knows, maybe he has an affinity for scuba diving. Looking for the positive people.

Give Big Red a new Toy and she won't stop playing with it.

After merely 2 hours in Hawaii I gave Big Red a boob job to rival any L.A. or Las Vegas plastic surgeon; and with no scars (well not the physical kind). That's right, Super Heros in training can perform miraculous changes in people. How, you say? Well I recently purchased some apparel from a little known shop called....... Victoria's Secret. Well the secret is out - even Big Red can swell in the right spots with special operative gear from the right equipment outfitters.

So she's now enjoying the art of talking with her sisters which transformed from peaches to trophy buck Watermelons, because those bazoombas turned into eyeball magnets. Now I wouldn't be so concerned for her except she may actually injure herself based on the fact she hasn't taken her enhancement gear off in 46 hours.

Big Red stumbled out of bed from an 8 hour slumber with a glass coffee pot in her possession and serendipitously made her way to the sink. Blondie and I know this because we were ripped from our serene slumber by the crashing sound of glass shards penetrating every corner of the bathroom after Big Red's eye opening glimpse into the mirror which prominently displayed her shiny new toys.

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