My Own "Cold" War

I want one dollar from every person in the world right now so I can start a vaccine research fund for the common cold.  Seriously, the average adult contracts 2-3 colds per year with a longevity of at least two weeks; and children even more. I know this from my extensive research on the subject. Oh yeah, I went all the way to the couch, procured the laptop and promptly typed in CDC common cold. I will stop at nothing to end this "cold" war.

My best friend, Mr. Kleenex

Like a good, responsible member of society, I religiously partake in the needle of the Influenza virus annually. But people, where have we gone wrong? Where is the cold vaccine? Colds are annoying; people with colds are annoying; and because this affliction is not life threatening - some think it's just fine to share their virusy, nasty little sinusy/cold parasites with the world. I think the new word of the year now is "Quarantine."

This post may be a tiny bit self serving, because after a week of nursing my teen back to health, I've been reduced to the position of "wide-gaping open mouth" breather. Yes, that's what I get for not quarantining my daughter to the woodshed for a week. But, no, I have to go and challenge Mother Teresa for a sainthood by allowing my offspring to stay in her warm bed within close proximity to my immune system.

Why you should quarantine your teen.

Okay, so back to my vast research where I've found there are more than one billion colds in the U.S. a year. Where is the civility? It doesn't take a rocket scientist - literally (I'm guessing it's some other kind of scientist) to figure out, we have an annual pandemic; and I'm beginning to believe nobody cares.

Now I'm going out on a limb here to make a statement I have not researched. But I'm pretty sure the common cold has been on our planet for-like-ever. Which leads to my next point. There have been years and years to study this bad-boy and still nothing. I'm not saying take the experts off of the killer infectious disease vaccine-making list, but don't we have some genius interns who are frothing at the mouth to relieve human-kind of this irritable nasal affliction?

I'd call someone and demand an answer, but for whatever reason my number seems to have been placed on every politician's and government agency's do-not-call-list.  I have only the three of you who read this to rely on.