Monday, July 4, 2011

Big Red's favorite exercise involves lying on her back

Prior to my departure last week for a 6-day girls' outing in L.A. and Las Vegas, I paid it forward with a daily routine on the treadmill for at least 60 - 75 minutes. Being a Super Hero in Training and all, I had this vision that although my workout clothes would be following me to both destinations, they may squeal at the sight of bright light upon their return from the bowels of my luggage. I surprise myself with my foresight.

During this trip I had a couple of dizzy spells when standing up as my brain was exercising its incredible sense of humor by withholding the information from my legs. Due to the fact that I make fun that I'm getting dumber as I gain muscle mass, the boss upstairs enjoys the serendipitous prank on my appendages. This explains the multiple stains on my clothes which are residuals of matter that should have made it to my mouth. Therefore I have to occasionally use vocabulary words above my grade level to let my medulla oblongata know it is the bomb.

Okay, I actually have low blood pressure, which is a condition completely lost on Big Red, who is a huge advocate of any exercise she can accomplish while lying flat on her back. Okay now wait a minute people. It's Pilates. She's a big Pilates fan - and not so excited about any two-legged form of movement. Anyway she was scratching her head wondering how I could possibly be inflicted with such a debilitating disease. At which point I had to explain to her this is a sign of incredible athletic conditioning garnered from.... I don't know.... cardio exercise. I know you can't see it from here, but my heart has abs.

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