Friday, October 21, 2011

Is it Wrong to Pay for the Services of Hot Men?

What's a dinner without a few laughs and insults? I'll tell you what it is - a Church pot luck. I don't know about you, but "said" event for me is like holy water to a vampire. I disappear into a pile of ashes. Now I feel compelled to enlighten you on our recent dinner at "Not a size 4 Anymore," BFF's McMansion. And by the way she was greeted in her home by one of the male guests with a "You look great!!! You're hardly showing." To which she replied, "Oh thank God, because I had the baby THREE months ago."

Our bevy of hosts for the evening included a doctor, a dentist and a casino mogul - all of whom... wait for it.... own Wineries. You say, how do you land such wonderful and talented people to entertain you? I say, the old fashioned way. We buy them. You've read my blog - we don't have any friends. I couldn't believe how fortunate we were to have a doctor in the house for our emergency. Oh nobody choked. But Big Red and I need Malaria drugs for our upcoming Brazilian experience.

Not the strip me bald Brazilian - all you need is a little sedative for that. No, we applied for Visas and for reasons unbeknownst to us, the Brazilian Government actually approved them. So after indulging in, and fawning over the doctor's fancy grape juice, I asked the man I met only an hour before - if he wouldn't love to write up a couple of Malaria prescriptions. Oh, you have your pad in the car? Oh I couldn't impose. Oh, it's not a bother to call the CDC at 9 p.m. and find out what type of Malaria drugs we actually need? Oh great. Thanks Doc.

Then after a steady diet of wines from Ferrari-Carano; Arger-Martucci; and Carrefour - Mr. Casino Mogul decided we weren't drinking enough. This Super Hero was going slow due to the imposition of having to drive an actual vehicle off the premises at the end of the evening.

So Casino mogul relieved yours truly of driving duty and called his limo driver - to lift the burden of my anesthetized future. Yeah the food was good too, whatever. You don't buy Winemakers for their culinary prowess. You buy them because they are HOT and can pour liquid.

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