Sunday, December 11, 2011

I gave up a bout of Depression to only contract Tourette's Syndrome

Hello people. Remember me? I used to actually print words on a blog and send it out. If you are wondering where I've been, I can't really tell you. But, as it turns out, I've apparently been depressed. However, I've been laughing so much I failed to notice.

So now I must diagnose the cause of this state-of-mind. Is it due to the failed marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries; or the fact that I miss Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men? It may have a lot to do with Southwest Airlines not serving Diet Dr. Pepper anymore. I've been upset about that for a long time; and every time I board a flight with them, I'm flooded with the memories of what used to be.

I'm sure it isn't because of my recent reunion with a gal at MY gym who has shed layers of pounds; and is sporting a body load of muscle after a year of training. I could never be resentful of such a thing for a fellow human, because I know the hours of hard work it takes to get there. Jello shots were probably not part of her training.

Except, you should know this is how the short conversation transpired when I bestowed her with accolades for her accomplishment.

Me: OMG Girl, you've been working hard. You look great.

That woman: Well YOU were my INSPIRATION!!!!!

So, there is more to the conversation, but I must stop now and say to those of you who are reading this: NEW RULE! If I inspire you to work out - DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT outdo me. Really? You want to come in here with your size two, ready for beach volleyball body - transformed from your robust size 12, and tell me - I was your INSPIRATION?

She said some other words after that, but I couldn't hear them, as I was in a cold, dark vacuum - muttering nonsensical, Tourette's Syndrome-esqe obscenities under my breath.

In my fog, I may have said, Oh that's great. You look amazing. You've really outdone yourself. Hey, when does your membership expire here?

Copyright © 2012 SUPER HERO, LLC. All rights reserved

Copyright © 2012 SUPER HERO, LLC. All rights reserved

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