Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Making Big Red invisible isn't Impossible

A devoted reader brought an interesting fact to my attention today. According to the Daily Beast - a news organization I follow daily (hence the name) reported a 15% increase in Champagne sales as the holidays approach. So Big Red, Blondie, Diva, NM and I say, "You're welcome America."

Frankly, I was shocked the number wasn't higher until I realized there was a slight increase in sales outside the U.S., which may have been where we were recently. Yes, we don't just designate the U.S. for Champagne consumption.

Children learn language through necessity to communicate their needs. Well as adults we become artfully multilingual for anything we desire. Actually, for Champagne it really only requires changing your accent and saying it with a question mark inflection. Champagne? Champon? Champagnya? The pop of the cork sounds the same in every language.

So in said "foreign" country the laws are very lax as to liquid carry-ons for domestic flights. How lax? Well I wasn't sure, but we were willing to find out. As it turns out Big Red and I had to race from our hotel early one morning to catch a domestic flight, but may have accidentally frozen a fresh bottle of Champagne in our room. It's the first time I've actually seen a freezer function in a hotel.

So, in all our logic with two hours of shut-eye behind us - we grabbed the bottle and threw it in our carry-on. After all, it is technically not a liquid at this point. We're hoarding a solid. We may have been asked by a few people in line what we planned on doing with it. Um "Drink it when it thaws, duh!"

One would think I might be more concerned upon approaching security in a foreign country where they so kindly offered Visas to us. I'm here to tell you, when you really want something - serendipity comes a knocking.

Then, it happened. Opportunity slapped me in the face so hard, my cheek is still red. A group of diplomats was being detoured around security screening and we figured; what's a couple more people? It just so happened Big Red and I were all dolled up in our professional attire, so can you say BLEND IN? Yes, I kid you not. My cloaking powers worked. No one ever thought I could make Big Red invisible. To this day we still don't know if the chemists in security would have spent time arguing solid versus liquid, but we weren't willing to miss our flight to find out.

And in case you're wondering, by the time we checked into our next destination - the Champagne was at the perfect temperature.

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