Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm 98 pounds of muscle and other stuff.

Okay, I'm in business now with my new-found willingness to drop another 6 lbs. for golf couture. At 7:30 this morning my trainer measured me to find that - of my 135 pounds, 36.5 is fat and 98.5 is a bunch of other stuff with some muscle in there too.

He said I have to be on a strict diet to lose 6 of the fat and none of the other. Soooo, this means 1. Cut sodium to 1000mg a day - (I can do this). 2. Drink 80 oz. water daily - (done) 3. Cut out processed foods - (Hmm. blah, blah, blah - I can't hear you) 4. ABSTAIN from alcohol - Easy, no problem. Wait, I'm sure he said no "grain" alcohol. Yep, in my mind - that is what I heard. He didn't say anything about grapes.

Most of my grapes are fermented (Websters: ferment - to excite, agitate) So my grapes are excited, and maybe a little perturbed. This doesn't mean processed; and perhaps they are bottled up and corked. Just like a Genie in a bottle, when they are uncorked, they bring pleasure to their master. Who's not going to free these agitated spheres of nectar? Hello!!! I'm a Super Hero - it's my duty.

5. Train at 85% of maximum heart rate for one hour - five times a week. I don't have one of those heart-rate thingies, so I'll wing it.

Okay, so with that said, I only had time for 30 minutes on the stairs. I'm pretty sure I was at maximum heart rate, because I didn't actually die, but I wanted to. I trained with him for a half-hour. We did something new today, it sounds lame, but, I picked up two 45-pound kettle bells, one in each hand dangling at my side (as if I could place them anywhere else) and he told me to walk around the perimeter of the gym with these in tow. He said pretend they are two 45-pound suitcases in each hand. Okay, then pop out the wheels on these puppies and we are business. I've got tip money in my pocket.

1 comment:

  1. I never hear the part about "grain" either :-)