Thursday, September 16, 2010

If only I could open my EYE

After months of strenuous workouts, muscle building, fat melting, blood, sweat and tears (no actual blood was spilled, but I'm feeling incredibly dramatic right now). However, the tears part is absolutely true, especially when I'm crying for my mommy while my ass is to my heels and 120 pounds are on my shoulders and I'm supposed to stand up.

Okay back to - after months of all that stuff - I have come to the conclusion that I still look way better fully clothed. Okay, I admit I do have some muscle definition which makes everything tighter, except for the actual skin that is attached to the aforementioned tissue.

Even though I have abs when I'm standing in the right lighting; at the right time of day (dusk or dawn preferably); and stretching my neck with all my might up to the heavens while sucking in my gut - there remains one little problem.

My belly button looks tired. I used to have this perfectly round crater in the center of my abdomen, and now I have what appears to be a lazy, drunken eye-slit. Don't get me wrong, the metaphor isn't lost on me. I've seen pictures of my eyes after a few pops of wine have been applied, and I have to tell you that look doesn't get any better in the center of my torso.

I keep telling myself that if I just lose 5 more pounds of fat, I will wake up bright EYED and bushy-tailed; and I don't mind the bushy tail part, because I know where I can get that waxed.


  1. I think the only woman our age who has THAT belly button is Demi Moore...and even then, I think the photos are photoshopped...even then, she still can afford to work out with a trainer multiple hours in a day, every single freekin' day, and if needed, has had the "tummy lift" required to make that tired tummy more "awake."

    Do I sound bitter?

  2. Not bitter at all Alice. I understand where you are coming from. I'm trying to figure out how I get her kind of money with my kind of body. I'm sure something will come to me eventually.