Friday, March 26, 2010

A life lesson - never insult your trainer

I hope you all can learn a valuable lesson from me. Never, ever, ever tell your trainer you're not getting the results you want.

Try to remember you have control over your own time in the gym, so if you haven't lost a pound in a month (that is if you're trying to lose weight and lordy-bejeezus I am)just get on the treadmill, stairs, eliptical or bike for 15 minutes longer than you normally do. Trust me this is the exact course of action you want to take. Save yourself!!!!!

I say this because my trainer has now decided to change my circuit to a point that I feel we must be filming a new Iron Man competition. He points to the weights I'm to pick up. As you know weights are lined up in succession based on size. I usually pick up the kettle bells third from the left (left being the lightest). Today, he pointed in a direction very far right from the left to which point I wondered if we were heading to Searchlight, NV for a tea bagger event.

I looked at him and said, "Isn't that what they use to crush cars?" He has no sense of humor. I've insulted him therefore this is my lot in life. Planks were a at a whole new level today, in a push-up position on my hands with one leg off the ground for 60 seconds. Then get in a squat position and lift this 500 lb ball(might be a slight exaggeration) in a curl then over your head and keep doing it for three minutes straight. Oh wait, you need to squat lower -- lower -- lower. Hey Mr. Trainer Man, my butt is so close to my heel that I could accurately pee in my shoe right now.

Every time I gasped for air as if it would be my last, I'd just hear him say in a very snippy non-empathetic tone, "You wanted to work on your arms." Yeah well, I don't want my skin to sag either, but I'm not taking safety pins and yanking my skin up to my neck and pinning it.

So I hope we all learned something today. Have a great weekend.


  1. LOL...@ heading to Searchlight for a tea bagger event...

    You can do a plank with one leg off the ground? I bow to you.

  2. Trainers tend to have masochistic tendencies... Sheesh.

    Nice plank! It never occurred to me to do a one legged plank. Something to think about!